Have you thought about how you’ll escape noisy, crowded celebrations this year? Christmas can be a joyful season, but for autistic and ADHD kids and adults, it often brings challenges. Instead of being caught off guard by meltdowns or shutdowns due to sensory overload, why not plan ahead to create a more peaceful holiday?

Why Christmas Can Be Overwhelming

Overwhelm can stem from so many places:

• Noise, like loud conversations or music.

• Flashing Christmas lights and crowded spaces.

• Uncomfortable sensory experiences, from clothing to smells.

• Too much talking, too many people, or an overstimulating environment.

The good news? With some proactive planning, you can minimize the stress and make the holidays more manageable.

Tips to Make the Holidays Easier

1. Create a Secret Escape CodeHave a secret code for family members that signals it’s time to leave—preferably before a meltdown or shutdown begins. A simple phrase like “I love hot dogs, or should I say chicken nuggets?” can be the cue to pack up and head out immediately.

2. Set Expectations in AdvanceLet your hosts know ahead of time that you’ll only be staying for a short while. It’s okay to prioritize your family’s needs, even if others don’t fully understand. Leaving before things feel overwhelming is better for everyone.

3. Plan for Quiet SpacesIdentify or create a quiet spot where you or your kids can take a sensory break. A pop-up toy tent can work wonders—bring along a pillow, some comforting items, and maybe a weighted blanket to make it a calming retreat. Turn it into a game for the kids so they know it’s a safe, fun space just for them.

4. Know When to Say NoSometimes, the best choice is not to go at all. It might not be popular, but prioritizing your family’s well-being is more important than meeting others’ expectations. You likely already know who won’t understand, so don’t be surprised or guilted into a decision that doesn’t work for you.

5. Anticipate Criticism and Let It GoSome people may judge no matter what you do. If you skip the event, they might be upset. If you attend and someone has a meltdown, they might criticize you for that too. Their lack of understanding isn’t your burden to bear.

6. Plan Breaks Into the DaySchedule quiet breaks between visitors to help regulate overwhelmed nervous systems—or if your child is sensory-seeking, plan a high-energy movement break. Let them run, jump, or dance to release pent-up energy before heading into a busy event.

A Note to Grandparents

If you’re hosting or attending this Christmas, here are some things to keep in mind for your autistic or ADHD grandchild (and their parents):

• No, they won’t eat it if they’re “hungry enough.” Be flexible with food preferences—yes, even chicken nuggets can be Christmas dinner.

• Be kind, not judgmental. Your grandchild isn’t giving you a hard time—they’re having a hard time.

• Times have changed. Resist the urge to share “helpful” advice about how things were done in your day.

• Support, don’t criticize. If the parents say they need to leave, help them pack up instead of complaining, “But you just got here!”

• It’s not about you. Your child or grandchild’s choices and behaviors aren’t personal. Show empathy and understanding instead of centering your own feelings.

When you prioritize kindness, support, and understanding, you’ll create lasting positive memories and deepen your bond with your family.

By planning ahead and setting realistic expectations, you can make the holidays less stressful and more enjoyable for everyone involved. The key is to focus on what works for your family, even if it doesn’t look like a traditional celebration.

With kindness

Liz

Have you thought about how you’ll escape noisy, crowded celebrations this year? Christmas can be a joyful season, but for autistic and ADHD kids and adults, it often brings challenges. Instead of being caught off guard by meltdowns or shutdowns due to sensory overload, why not plan ahead to create a more peaceful holiday?

Why Christmas Can Be Overwhelming

Overwhelm can stem from so many places:

• Noise, like loud conversations or music.

• Flashing Christmas lights and crowded spaces.

• Uncomfortable sensory experiences, from clothing to smells.

• Too much talking, too many people, or an overstimulating environment.

The good news? With some proactive planning, you can minimize the stress and make the holidays more manageable.

Tips to Make the Holidays Easier

1. Create a Secret Escape CodeHave a secret code for family members that signals it’s time to leave—preferably before a meltdown or shutdown begins. A simple phrase like “I love hot dogs, or should I say chicken nuggets?” can be the cue to pack up and head out immediately.

2. Set Expectations in AdvanceLet your hosts know ahead of time that you’ll only be staying for a short while. It’s okay to prioritize your family’s needs, even if others don’t fully understand. Leaving before things feel overwhelming is better for everyone.

3. Plan for Quiet SpacesIdentify or create a quiet spot where you or your kids can take a sensory break. A pop-up toy tent can work wonders—bring along a pillow, some comforting items, and maybe a weighted blanket to make it a calming retreat. Turn it into a game for the kids so they know it’s a safe, fun space just for them.

4. Know When to Say NoSometimes, the best choice is not to go at all. It might not be popular, but prioritizing your family’s well-being is more important than meeting others’ expectations. You likely already know who won’t understand, so don’t be surprised or guilted into a decision that doesn’t work for you.

5. Anticipate Criticism and Let It GoSome people may judge no matter what you do. If you skip the event, they might be upset. If you attend and someone has a meltdown, they might criticize you for that too. Their lack of understanding isn’t your burden to bear.

6. Plan Breaks Into the DaySchedule quiet breaks between visitors to help regulate overwhelmed nervous systems—or if your child is sensory-seeking, plan a high-energy movement break. Let them run, jump, or dance to release pent-up energy before heading into a busy event.

A Note to Grandparents

If you’re hosting or attending this Christmas, here are some things to keep in mind for your autistic or ADHD grandchild (and their parents):

• No, they won’t eat it if they’re “hungry enough.” Be flexible with food preferences—yes, even chicken nuggets can be Christmas dinner.

• Be kind, not judgmental. Your grandchild isn’t giving you a hard time—they’re having a hard time.

• Times have changed. Resist the urge to share “helpful” advice about how things were done in your day.

• Support, don’t criticize. If the parents say they need to leave, help them pack up instead of complaining, “But you just got here!”

• It’s not about you. Your child or grandchild’s choices and behaviors aren’t personal. Show empathy and understanding instead of centering your own feelings.

When you prioritize kindness, support, and understanding, you’ll create lasting positive memories and deepen your bond with your family.

By planning ahead and setting realistic expectations, you can make the holidays less stressful and more enjoyable for everyone involved. The key is to focus on what works for your family, even if it doesn’t look like a traditional celebration.